Saturday, December 23, 2017

I Wish I Had A River - Christmas Feels 2017

“It's coming on Christmas, they’re cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer, and singing songs of joy and peace
Oh I wish I had a riverI could skate away on.” - Joni Mitchell

Since childhood, I have spent most of my days in a constant state of low-grade existential dread, but usually, from Halloween through Boxing Day, I happily go basic and spend the holidays playing the part of a well adjusted person. I carve the pumpkins, brine the turkey, light the Hanukkah candles (my wife is a member of the Tribe), decorate the tree, send the Christmas cards. Standing in that river of tradition makes me feel connected to the human race - and that is a good feeling. It is my once-yearly ticket off the Island of Misfit Toys.

This year, for a lot of reasons, it’s mostly just been that feeling of unease, and I can’t seem to shake it. But still it’s Christmastime, and there are good people everywhere. I have found true love, and it has lasted. My friends - who have their own problems - always make time to be the best friends a person could ever hope to find. I suck at showing it, but I don’t know what I’d do without them. I don’t know what I’d do without all of you. I know how lucky I am.


I hope your holidays are happy, and your homes full of laughter. And here’s to the new year being better than the old one!